hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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