so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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