He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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