Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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