How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
