Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
