Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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