It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
