are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
