Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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