mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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