I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
