so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
she told me i tasted like america
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So vagazzling was a success
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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