youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize