I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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