Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
