Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
