no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
