Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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