woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize