Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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