Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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