Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
