you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
