I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
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We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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