i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
