just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize