You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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