When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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