??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
