ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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