I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
