We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
