Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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