Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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