i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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