you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
