You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
