Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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