Its about making memories worth repressing
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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