I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize