Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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