she woke up with a sticky ear
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
