So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
