Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
