Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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