It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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