Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
