She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
