I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
