i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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