PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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