If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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