Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
