Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
