how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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