porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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