I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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