He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
