PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
