Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
