This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just google imaged poop.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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