Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
