Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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