i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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