in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just had sex bonerless
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
