Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize