Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
