trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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