I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
