Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
