I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
