my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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